Departures Stink

I don't think I can begin to describe what it is like to watch your husband walk away knowing he is going to be gone for over half a year. Saying good bye is one of the hardest things.  Some people like to stay at the unit and hang out while the guys get ready to go but I just can't do it.  By the time the morning comes around for them to leave, it takes all I have to hold myself together on the drive there.  I caught myself starting to break down on the way to base but I just couldn't let myself do that.  The final hug is by far the worse part. I think that was when I lost it.  I just didn't want to let go. But once you do, to watch them turn around and walk away from you, how can you not lose it? I don't know how he keeps it together.  I balled under my sunglasses and got into the car.  By the time I drove out of the base gate, I was slowing pulling it together.  Until our wedding song came on (I know what timing is that right?). I lost it again!  

Q and I did a lot of things together before he left and I am truly grateful that we got that time. We have great memories to think about while we are apart that will carry us till we see each other again.  The time seems so long at times but keeping an open mind and positivity makes it much easier.  I think I did much better leading up to this departure than I have in the past.  Before I dreaded it for weeks and months prior but this time I was determined not to do that.  I constantly told myself it was going to be okay and that we will make it through like we have all the other separations and I think it really helped me prepare (if you can be prepared). 

I am also glad that I have Cali with me.  She knows when I'm sad and she will give me kisses to make me feel better.  The kisses are not always welcomed but I can't complain because she is trying.  I have to admit I have been letting her sleep with me since he has been gone.  It has been nice waking up in the morning to something there.  She's always so snuggly in the morning. 

But, Q will be missed dearly and I already can't wait for him to be home.  The list of things to do around the house keeps growing, I don't know how I can make all of the decisions! I am very blessed that I do get to speak with him very frequently which helps a lot.  Let the count down begin!